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I Am Stronger Than I Ever Wanted To Be

You’ve heard the staying the Lord does not give us more than we can handle.   I never knew I could handle everything in my life but I did and now I am stronger than I ever wanted to be.

My three sons

It was tough being a single mom with three boys.

Thankfully life has a way of getting better even when you think it never will.

I was a single mom with three boys for a long time.  It was tough.  What was tougher was that I didn’t work from home.  What was even tougher than that was my two youngest have autism.  Commuting to an office made it very hard for myself and my oldest son.  My oldest son is 10 years older than my next, second son.  He was in charge when I could not be home.

A lot of things were taken away from him socially by having to be responsible for his brothers while I was out trying to make a living.  He didn’t date.  He didn’t go to prom and he was constantly worried about his brothers.  After he graduated from high school he wanted to join the military but delayed that because I could not work and take care of his brothers without him.  He cared so much about me that he didn’t want to leave me with so much to do without him.

After my oldest son graduated from high school I met a man.  I actually when to high school with this man but we never socialized or were even friends.  I just knew who he was.  We started dating and he came over to meet my children.  Now my youngest at the time had self-injurious behavior and it was bad.  It was so bad that most of his days at school were just to keep him from harming himself.  This man was going to meet my sons with autism and the behavior that goes along with it.  I just knew the moment my son starting hitting himself or any number of things I could imagine, this relationship would be over.  Hey, if he was going to leave because of this then better sooner than later.  It is what it is.

Guess what?  He stayed and we got married. It is tough to be a step parent but it is even harder if you are a stepfather to special needs children. Their own father dropped them off the day after Thanksgiving years ago and we never heard from him again. My husband stepped up and became their dad.

My oldest son did go into the Navy and after he was discharged got a college degree.  Chaz is a personal trainer and is helping me get healthy.  My second son with Asperger’s Syndrome has overcome so many obstacles such as being considered the “weird” or ‘quirky” kid to the funniest, smartest guy you will ever know.  He is in college working on his Bachelor’s degree in media arts and animation.  Then there is my is youngest.  He hasn’t hit himself in a long time.  He is in high school and learning.  My kids and I have come a long way.

I still work full time but now I work at home and I have done that since 2009.   My boys and I needed for this to happen so that we could heal and learn and grow.  It’s still tough at times.  We are no ordinary family and we have gone through a lot. We are a family of eight.  My husband had three kids of his own.  All of our kids are now grown and on their own but we made it through all the challenges and obstacles and we are a closer family.

My oldest son did make a lot of sacrifices for all of us but in the end, it made him a better man.  A man with compassion and empathy and a great love for his brothers.

I wonder what the future holds for us and how much farther my kids will go in their lives with all their triumphs.  Only time will tell.  As for the present time, I am a grateful mom and wife  and I just keep getting stronger.

Until next time,


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